Tuesday

We were released from CHOP late morning and by the time we packed up the hospital room and the hotel room, we felt that we were too exhausted to drive home. We are at my parents house outside of Philadelphia right now. We would like to take a day to breathe tomorrow and then leave for C-ville Thurs. morning, but it will depend on how the night and morning go. If they don't go well, we want to return  ASAP to pursue the next step with UVA. We don't want to wait until things get crazy over a weekend and we can't get in touch with the folks we need to, that always seems to happen to us. She is trying SOO hard to eat real food by herself, a HUGE step compared to how we went in to CHOP, but it remains to be seen whether it will be enough. She is still in major stomach pain, typical for this severe Celiac and continues to moan often. This mother's heart is struggling to stay positive as it is beyond description how hard it has been to see her suffer. She has had headaches since Sept. and majorly declining health since early Dec., that's almost 3 months now, I really can't believe it! This week at CHOP, I often stopped and found myself asking...how did we get in this place? how could it have gotten this bad? I was initially shocked with the Celiac diagnosis, but now welcome the day when all that it means is eating gluten free and no longer seeing my child suffer!

So, many of you have asked how I have seen the Lord's hand at work. I clearly have seen it in the 3 things that I mentioned earlier that I was praying for months. I also firmly believe that this trial will bring complete healing to Ashley and others. Personally, I see that the Lord has totally stripped me of all the things that I had pride in...
- a mostly clean house (it has been weeks since it was cleaned)
- my kids accomplishing their school work every day (don't think we have done that for weeks either)
- my college girls Bible study being a rich time for the girls to grow in their faith (haven't even seen these ladies in weeks...miss them dearly)
- participating in YL events (Mike and Brit gave up Wyldlife weekend and all gave up Leadership weekend)
- success in ministry (Wow, the YLives Mentors pulled off an amazing "Love Club" last week without me and are doing a more than fantastic job of holding down the fort! My girl Valerie was going to stay at our house while her mother and step-dad were in Florida for a week...this obviously didn't happen and I am SOO proud of her for being a great Mom and going it alone for a week! I also have to say that I'm totally proud of her for winning Regionals in track and going on to States!)
 - a general kind of "holding things together"...schedule, life, home (no need to really comment on this, it is obvious that the bottom has fallen out on this one!)

So, what does that leave me with...Jesus, and nothing of myself! I'm sure that is exactly where I need to be, but it is soo incredibly painful to be in this place as a result of my child's suffering. Am I that stubborn Lord? (actually, please don't answer that!) I've been really pondering this quote today..."He is making you into the follower you always tried to be, but couldn't." I know that is what is happening, but when I am trying to comfort her pain, I can't help but ask...is there any other way Lord?

 Brittany reminded ME tonight, as I was crying, that we will still praise God no matter what and will say, "it is well with my soul!" Wow, what a work the Lord has done in her this year, as she has pressed into Him in the midst of her adversity! I can not wait to see what the Lord has in store for her as she has embraced trial and not given up or lost hope!

Please continue to pray for Ashley's stomach pain and achy body to be healed. Please continue to pray for her to be encouraged as she tries soo very hard to eat and drink. And, as much as we wish this was all over, please pray that we wouldn't miss what God has for us in the midst of the struggle!

Grateful,
Lori

"I lift my eyes to the hills, where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth..." Ps 121